walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
