HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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