I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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