ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize