HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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