Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
