I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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