So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
