Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He shit in the fireplace
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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