Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I look better un-naked...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
