it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
