Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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