google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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