and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You dont lie about slip and slides
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize