stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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