just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
