Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
