Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
