Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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