Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
