You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
