My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize