I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
