Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
