I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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