He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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