people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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