we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
