Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
