Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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