How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
