Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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