I want to make a zoo with you.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
