idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
