how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize