I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
