We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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