Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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