we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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