I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just pee around me
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
