I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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