so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He felt like a one man threesome
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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