Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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