im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
