for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's blow job season.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
