Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
