If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
