And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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