Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize