i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
