I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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