as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
