ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
